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When dealing with lingering feelings for an ex, the first step before employing the technique of ‘opposite action’ is to validate what you’re feeling. It’s important to acknowledge that your emotions are real and understandable. The end of a relationship can be a significant loss, and it’s natural to grieve that loss, even if the relationship was not healthy or the breakup was necessary.
Validating your emotions means recognizing that it’s okay to feel love, longing, or regret for your ex. These feelings are a sign that you were deeply connected to someone, and it’s part of the healing process to allow yourself to experience them. By validating your emotions, you’re not encouraging them to linger; rather, you’re giving yourself permission to process them in a healthy way.
Once you’ve acknowledged and validated your feelings, you can then move on to using ‘opposite action’ as a tool to help regulate those emotions. This technique involves acting in a way that is opposite to the pull of the unhelpful emotion. For example, if the emotion of love makes you want to check your ex’s social media or reach out to them, the opposite action would be to avoid those behaviors and instead engage in activities that support your healing and personal growth.
By combining validation with ‘opposite action,’ you can work through your emotions in a balanced and constructive manner, gradually reducing the intensity of your feelings for an ex and moving towards emotional resolution and closure.
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