In a remote corner of China’s Yunnan Province, a young man from Shanghai has spent a decade immersed in the unique marital customs of the Mosuo people, an ethnic group known for their matriarchal society and distinctive approach to relationships. This journey has led to a profound admiration for what he describes as an advanced view of marriage.
The Unconventional Union
Li Wei, a 32-year-old native of Shanghai, first encountered the Mosuo culture in 2013 during a trip to Lugu Lake, a breathtakingly beautiful region nestled between Yunnan and Sichuan provinces. He was immediately captivated by the Mosuo way of life, particularly their system of walking marriage, where couples do not live together permanently but visit each other at night.
I was intrigued by their approach to relationships, Li says. It was so different from what I knew in the urban areas of China. The Mosuo people have a very mature and open view of love and marriage.
The Matrilineal Society
The Mosuo society is one of the few remaining matrilineal societies in the world. Women hold the central role in family and social life, with property and inheritance passed down through the female line. Men are not considered heads of households, and children take their mother’s surname.
This unique structure has fostered a different perspective on marriage, where the concept of nuclear families is absent. Instead, Mosuo families are extended, with multiple generations living together under one roof, and relationships are based on mutual respect and affection rather than legal or religious bindings.
Walking Marriage
The Mosuo’s walking marriage system allows couples to form relationships without the constraints of traditional marriage. Men visit their female partners at night and leave before dawn, with no formal commitment or legal ties. This arrangement offers flexibility and autonomy, allowing both parties to maintain their independence while still enjoying the benefits of a romantic relationship.
Li Wei was so fascinated by this system that he decided to stay and immerse himself in the Mosuo culture. Over time, he formed a deep bond with a local woman, with whom he has now been in a walking marriage for ten years.
An Advanced View of Marriage
Reflecting on his experience, Li believes that the Mosuo view of marriage is more advanced than the traditional models found in urban China. In the cities, marriage is often seen as a legal and economic contract, with significant pressure to conform to societal expectations, he explains. Here, relationships are based on genuine affection and mutual respect. There’s no pressure to fit into a predefined mold.
Li also notes that the Mosuo approach to relationships reduces the likelihood of domestic disputes and gender inequality. Women have a lot of power in Mosuo society, and men are expected to contribute equally to the household. This balance creates a more harmonious environment, he says.
A Glimpse into the Future
Li’s journey into Mosuo culture has not only transformed his own life but also offers a valuable perspective on the evolving nature of relationships in modern society. The Mosuo people have a lot to teach us about love and marriage, he says. Their approach is not just unique; it’s also a glimpse into what could be a more advanced and equitable future for all of us.
As China continues to evolve, with traditional values often clashing with modern aspirations, the Mosuo’s unique marital customs may offer an alternative path. Li Wei’s story is a testament to the beauty and wisdom of the Mosuo culture, providing a compelling narrative for those seeking a fresh perspective on love and marriage.
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